I Don’t Love

Black_RoseMaybe it’s in the childhood, long-lost. Maybe it’s in the never knowing. Maybe it just does not exist within. I have tried to find but never found. I have searched the depths and traveled the heights and yet still, I am hollow. You see…
…I don’t love.
The heart bleeds in disconnect. It cries out loud to no avail. I feel anger, and pain, and sorrow. My heart mourns in a shadow never cast.
But it does not love.
Numb to bliss, absent of union. Can it be that love is a trait that’s learned. They say that the heart, once touched, flows like a river thawing from the Winter’s chill. Yet for me the waters stagnant. Approaching the rim of the banks but damned.
I don’t love.
I respect, and admire. I can touch and feel. I can taste the sweetness of desire and burn in the flames of lust.
But I don’t love.
Is it only me, or is it really all a facade? Can it be that no one loves? Maybe in the wake of forgiveness we lost the ability of truth. Sweat and tears are wiped away. Compassion and understanding have deceived our thoughts. The sacrifice of life has left us blind, emotionally separated.
I can feel a heart beat alone within a gaze.
But I don’t love.
It breaks and heals. It bleeds and dies. It skips and jumps and grows and fulfills.
But it does not love.
I don’t love.
I am all, and I am you.
But I don’t love.


About paulsdahlman

Born in Southern California, raised on the road and now growing roots in New England. I am on the journey of my lifetime. May the footprints I leave behind form the words to my story.
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5 Responses to I Don’t Love

  1. Mari says:

    Wow! This is powerful stuff!


  2. Felicia says:

    It is hard to do~


  3. Ash says:

    Beautifully sad and tragic…very moving.


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