I recently had a conversation with my sister about forgiveness. It seems an easy enough word to say, almost sounds pleasant. But the act itself appears to be much more difficult. They say that to forgive is divine, yet even god had trouble with that word. After all even he had his limits. Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit for instance. When he did forgive there always seemed to be a sacrifice of sorts required on the others part.
But still it’s those who feel wronged that carry around the weight, never so much the ones in need of the pardon. And do we really feel it when we say “I forgive you”, or does some part of resentment still linger long after the words are said.
I suppose it’s healthy both physically as well as emotionally to not dwell on the past and free yourself of the spirits that haunt your mind. I know I have been forgiven for things I have done, so it’s only right that I share some of that undeserving compassion. Yet it’s still not an easy thing to do.
Does forgiveness let the other person off the hook? Does it make your resentment disappear? Will it ever return to you what is lost? What if by forgiving it would rewind the clock and put you in the place of the act in question. would life play out the same way, or would it be different.
To forgive without sacrifice, well that is beyond divine. I know mistakes can be made for whatever reason. May they be born of influence or desire. Maybe from ignorance or jealousy. Events can act themselves out from deep within the subconscious mind. Scars left behind resurfacing and manifesting themselves causing fresh wounds to bleed out in a passed on form of betrayal.
So I even now as I sit here, reaching, pulling from the realms of the beating heart. I can say I honestly forgive. But that doesn’t mean that understanding is still not warranted. Some day, somewhere beyond this life. I am going to need an explanation.