I was going to school during the day and working for a Company called Dynatem at night. They programmed computer chips for places like N.A.S.A. and IBM. I was in the shipping department, nice job. I had my own desk, a company car (they said my motorcycle was not right for the company’s image). I was able to crank up the radio and they never seemed to mind my long hair, tattoos or the piercings. I lived in an apartment above a garage that I rented from the family of an old school friend. I had the bike, the leather jacket, the nerdy kid next door. I was the Fonz, only without the women… or the cool.
There was a girl who worked in the office upstairs at Dyantem. She answered phones and filed paperwork. She would come down every once in a while to have me send something out for her. Always in dresses, always in heals. The guys would see how I lit up around her and would tease me, saying how she was way out of my league. She was from money and I was nothing but a street kid. But it never bothered me. When I look down the barrel of a twelve gauge it never matters to me if my sites are locked on a turkey or a quail, they both dropped the same.
One day I asked her out. and to everyone elses surprise she said yes. She told me that she had been in a little trouble in Seattle and her parents sent her to live with her military uncle in El Toro. I went to the house to pick her up dressed in a new pair of Levi’s and the only button up the front shirt I owned, with my hair slicked back into a pony tail and a blazer covering up my tattoos. Her uncle was a big man, and when he shook my hand I was sure I felt a snap. He told me to have her back my midnight, and I thought to myself, with any luck I wouldn’t even need that much time. So we drove off in my company car. I had plans of a nice dinner in Laguna Beach and then a stroll to this little private cove I knew about. It was a plan that never failed, But she had other plans.
Being new to the area, she wanted to see the Sunset strip on the back of my motorcycle. She had a friend that worked at a club called the Troubadour and could get us in without any problem. So we went back to my place, dumped the car, I grabbed the leather while she changed into, well a lot less. We jumped on the bike and were off. Now I loved the sunset strip at night, It was home to me for quite some time. but it was no place for an out of towner. The locals could smell a tourist from miles away. It was Friday night and the wolves would be howling. The freaks, the tweekers, the junkies, the vampires they would all be crawling out of their holes to feed. I knew I would have to keep a close eye on her.
We got to the club and right away her friend whisked us passed the massive line waiting to get in and into the backstage door. It was crowded, full of hairspray and lipstick. I was more of a Slayer kind of guy, never really went for the whole crossdressing thing, but it was still a good time. I went to get us a seven and seven and a beer. When I got back a short stocky guy with big bushy hair and eye liner was yelling at my date. I approached them and said “What the hell is going on here”, He said “This chick is a bitch that’s whats going on” and with that she grabbed the drink from my hand and threw it smack dab in the guys face. So the guy turn to me, fist clenched, and slugged me square across the face. My ear popped like a cannon and rang so loud that it was all I could hear. My vision went black and I went down on one knee. I managed to stand back up just to fall a couple of steps back into a wall. By the time I came back to, he was gone. and she was drinking my beer.
So I went into the bathroom to wash up. and standing right next to me was David Lee Roth. Now I never really cared much for the guy, but sure did love Eddie. When I came out of the urinals I told my date and her friend who was I saw in there. Her friend said that he comes there all the time and is an asshole but she would introduce me if I wanted. So when he came out she called him over and she introduced us. He stunk like whiskey and twenty year old sweat. He said, “Are you in a band”, I said no, he then leanened into me and said “why did you want to meet me then, wait don’t tell me, you want to be just like me when you grow up don’t you”. I laughed and said “You? No. I just wanted to know is Eddie was with you”. He told me to fuck off and proceeded to hit on my date. He took her aside and whispered in her ear, then walked outside. She came up to me and said, “He want to take me for a quick ride up and down the strip. We will be right back, just a quick ride I promise, my friends back home would be so jelious.” So I said okay and grabbed another beer and went up to watch the band about to go on the stage. The banner read Ratt. and wouldn’t you know it, the fat guy who punched me walked out and sat behind the drum kit. What a great night it was turning out to be.
So after about three hours and seven beers and six shots. I was about to leave, when I saw Don Dokken sitting at a table with a group of posers in make up and big hair. He had a million little braids in his hair with beads woven in each one of them. I started laughing very hard. I walked up to him and told him that he really let himself go after filming the movie “Ten”. He gave me a really angry look and then he stood up. Who frikkin knew Don Dokken was seven two. I was tossed out the back door like bag of garbage. So with my torn shirt, black eye, bloody ear and bruised ego. I jumped on the bike and went home.
The next day the cops were at my door. A missing persons report was filed after the girl failed to come home. I told them what happened and they said they would be back. several hours later she called me and asked if I could pick her up, that after her and Roth had sex on the grass at the observatory, he left her at a bus stop on Ventura. I told her no problem, hung up the phone and went to work. After many hours she ended up calling her uncle. I quit my job that day, I wasn’t going to work under the same roof as her. I was crushed. My boss pleaded with me to stay, even offered me more money. He told me that they were being bought over by another company and he really needed me there. I told him I was sorry but just couldn’t stay. Before the year was up Dynatem was be sold to a small start-up company called Microsoft. From what I hear, everyone made out very well. I also heard the girl was sent back to Seattle the following day.
I never did get start struck again after that. Or let a pretty face get the best of me…okay maybe a few more times. I knew the egos these people have is something I want no part of. and I also learned that sometimes you quit a job for the wrong reasons, and it comes back to bite you in the ass, over and over and over.
And just as a side note: Slayer is still going strong decades later. While most of those hair bands are playing free shows on public greens.